But I Don't Want to Go Among Mad People
by pencilitout
Summary: Bella's lost her way and she's come to the last place on Earth that could help her get back on path: Forks, Washington. Everybody's lost to some degree in this town and everbody's insane. But maybe, in this town of chaos and crazies, she'll learn to live.
1. Chapter 1

The Cheshire Cat inspired me.

**"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."**

**-**Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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His hair was not just blonde, no; it was auburn and gold, honey and amber, mahogany with a hint at the dying light of a sunset, a mass of halo adorning his angelic features. His eyes were not just blue; they were a swirl of aqua, lime, turquoise, jade, and the purest sapphire of a newborn sky. They swelled like the ocean, infinite secrets held beneath the impenetrable depths and waves. He walked towards me with the lazy elegance of someone who was confident in who they were and their very purpose. He was my polar opposite and he fascinated me, for he embodied all that I aspire to someday be.

_There were no two beings more different than he and I, but he sat at my table that day anyway._

_He smiled at me, a brilliant beautiful smile that was more deadly than the sharpest of knives in its radiance. With that smile, he pulled me in, a goody mass of girlish thoughts and behaviors. I was caught in his trap, in his world._

_I was naïve, I didn't know any better._

_And to this day, I still don't know whether or not I regret it._

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The fuck is wrong with people?

I would honestly, really, truly like to know.

They say they know who I am, what I am, where I'm from, who I've fucked and who I haven't, what my hobbies are, and who I consider good and who I consider not so good. And they've only known me for about ten seconds.

I say 'Hi, I'm Bella,' they say 'I felt like I recognized you! Isabella Swan? The Police Chief's daughter?' and then they think they know me. They think they know who I am.

I am uptight, law-abiding, prude, a virgin, polite, smart, demure, studious, and a bookworm.

I am the teacher's pet, the girl-next-door, the quiet, shy, blushing type.

I am the last person they would see doing drugs or drinking or smoking. I am the last person they would ever meet at a party. I am the last person on Earth who they could go to when they wanted to hook up.

I am the Police Chief's daughter, and so, I must be all these things.

In Phoenix, I fit the bill perfectly. Everyone expected what I would say or do and everyone was always right. And I was content to play the perfect part for far too long.

But no longer, not anymore.

I am Bella Swan. Not Isabella, not a prude, not a library's assistant. I am deranged, and fucked up, and I like to drink and smoke.

I'm a lot like you.

And I'm leaving. I'm done being the good girl, the Bible bearer, the pristine mouse.

I am done being judged and having to sneak around behind everyone's backs. I am tired of being looked down on or being the object of sick desire or the avoided party in every hallway.

I am sick of people in general. Of their thoughts, misconceptions, attitude, society rules, and their overall failure at being considered human beings.

I vow to never again be that girl. The one who kept her mouth closed, her eyes down, her grades up. The girl who cried in her room at night because she was missing something. The girl who didn't know who she was or what she stood for.

I still don't know, but I'm on my way to finding out.

I know that I want to be crazy, to be in love, to have friends, and to get drunk. I know that I don't want to be content as the Police Chief's daughter for the rest of my life. I know that I can't stay here anymore… not after…

But no. I can't think of him. Not of her. Not of what happened to make me realize what I'm doing.

Because I know now. And I know that I will have to forget him and her and them and everything that I thought I once stood for.

Because, really, I was never strong enough to stand. I leaned on others, on my fears and insecurities, on the rigid role in life that had been given to me by others. A birthright I had never really wanted.

And now that I've been knocked down, my crutches thrown into the fire, I am forced to lie here, vulnerable and bare.

I have been knocked down and I can now finally learn to stand, on my own. I refuse to go back to what I was. I promise to learn to become what I was meant to be.

I have left the road that they paved for me and I'm at the crossroads now.

And I walk straight ahead. Through the brush and the grass onto the trail that no person will ever take. I will ignore the road altogether, for it is a road that I refuse to follow.

In the end, no matter how many paths I would have taken, they would have all lead back to the same place. A place I no longer want to be.

I am done and I am leaving. Goodbye was said. And now I must say hello.

No matter how much I loathe that word.

I am Bella Swan. Don't you fucking dare think that you know me.

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Reviews are appreciated by me and always treasured. :)


	2. The White Rabbit

Disclaimer: I'm most assuredly NOT SM.

"**If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there."**

**-Lewis Carroll, **_**Alice in Wonderland**_

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The girl was pretty, prettier than many, but not too beautiful. She was like a lamb, ready for the slaughter; he was an eager executioner. He walked toward her, brimming over with his secret desire, but to her it looked like confidence. He walked like a predator but she was too inexperienced to see his intention in his eyes.

_She saw him walking, we see him stalking._

_She was backed into a corner and his teeth were bared. She felt no pain when he sank those deadly fangs into her pretty porcelain neck. She didn't even know that there was any danger. And if she did, would she have cared?_

_He is victorious now. _

_Because she knows better._

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The same pretty girl trudged through the air port. She was holding in her hand a small beaded bag. Sticking out of the bag was an MP3. She refused to get an iPod; too mainstream. Isabella was on her birth certificate, but she called herself Bella.

But nobody else knew that. Yet.

Bella walked through the airport in a band tee, the band being Dave Matthews; she also wore a pair of weather beaten Airwalk-Converse-wannabe's (she had refused to get the real ones), ripped denim shorts that weren't from any brand name but Mudd, and loose hair that was down in a mass of wavy, curly brown. She liked her hair, and she liked her eyes.

Once upon a time, when she had called herself Isabella, she had hated them.

But the mud brown had transformed into chocolate, the stringy hair was now mahogany. In reality, her features hadn't changed; just her view on them did.

As did her view on everything else.

Bella walked with a stumbling gait that she wouldn't give up for the world. She knew no other way to walk. Her black leather suitcase bumped her in the butt with every step, but she didn't mind. As long as she didn't fall on her face, she'd be good.

Too late.

Somehow, Bella managed to trip over the suitcase behind her and went into a freefall towards the now-carpeted floor. One stroke of luck. That didn't happen very often.

Now let us observe Bella falling. She doesn't fall normally.

What? There is a _normal_ way to fall?

Yes. When falling, most people will watch the ground, gasp, twist their body, pull up their knees, and stick out their hands to try and catch themselves. Bella did none of these things.

She closed her eyes in an almost exasperated way, kept her body relaxed, and fell. She did not tense, pull up her knees, twist, or stick out her arms. She wasn't expecting someone to catch her either. Nope, she was just 'used to it'.

As her bruised and battered body verified. Her palms were crisscrossed with scars and abrasions. As were her hips, knees, thighs, stomach, elbows, and feet. Her face, miraculously, had been left unscathed.

Supposedly.

But if one were to look closer, they would be able to make out a jagged cut nearly hidden by her hairline. It had once been a deep cut, but it was now healing. That one was also caused by a fall.

But, unlike her other injuries, it wasn't an accident.

Bella tells nobody about the scar. And nobody asks. Because everyone who 'knew' her during that once upon a time knows exactly how it got there. They all denied it, but they all knew the truth.

And the people who don't matter, hopefully won't pry. Hopefully.

But Bella doesn't really hope anymore. You can be happy without hope, she's told herself. But she doesn't really know if she's happy either.

That's why she's here to find out.

Bella got up, wiped off her hands, and continued on to the door, right when a young woman in her mid-thirties came bustling through.

"Oh, dear! Are you quite alright? I saw you take that nasty fall there," she trailed off, seeing that Bella was indeed, quite alright. Bella tried to smile joyously at her.

The woman wondered if she was constipated. Or in pain.

She leaned in to whisper conspiratorially in Bella's ear, "It's not that time of month for you is it?" Bella stopped trying and managed a real smile this time. It was genuine and adorable on her little lost face.

Or, at least, that's what the woman thought.

"Hi, Auntie Esme," Bella's smile turned wry, "and no, it isn't that time of month," she chuckled. Esme looked at her, half worried, half amused.

"Oh, well you looked like you were in pain," Bella outright laughed at that. A real laugh. She thought she didn't remember the ticklish sensations in her stomach, the throaty croak as the air whooshed up and out of her lungs, the easy smile. She hadn't laughed in a long time.

"I was trying to smile!" Esme laughed with her, but inside she was worried.

_Trying _to smile?

She didn't know what I know. And what you will have to find out on your own.

Bella's laughter cut off into small chuckles. She didn't want to let go of that wonderful sensation. When she laughed, she laughed. That was it. No other emotion attached to her amusement. No thoughts in her head, just her laughing. It was a freeing experience.

And Bella was in an unlocked cage. She could get out if she tried, but she was still trapped inside her mind. Bella didn't want to try. And so, her unlocked cage taunted her. Because getting out of it was scarier than staying inside.

She was a coward. It wasn't that hard to admit.

To herself, at least.

She sighed when at last her chuckles subsided. It was time to go and meet the reality of her situation again. Well, maybe not the full reality. She wasn't ready for _that_ yet.

Esme smiled at the broken soul she saw before her. Now, she didn't know that Bella's soul was broken, she only knew that something was wrong. That something wasn't very right with this pretty, polite girl. She sensed a world weariness to her, a taste of bittersweet and sour. And she could feel inside of her that this girl missed something. She knew what it was instinctually.

Bella missed her naivety. And Esme was right on. But, of course, Esme believed in all things logical and definite. So she ignored that little twinge of premonition in her gut. That little nudging thought in her brain.

Ignorance is bliss, after all.

"So, it seems that we should be heading off," Esme did her best to sound cheerful. Bella thought she sounded like children's cough syrup. So sickeningly sweet, it distracts from the fact that it is cough medicine, and that you, who are taking it, are _sick._

Bella had a misconception of the word sick. Or at least, she had a different way of describing it. Sick was not when you didn't feel good, it was when you felt wrong. Sick didn't mean coughing and throwing up, it meant that something inside of you was changing for the worse. Becoming perverse and alien. Sick, to Bella, meant that moment when you finally realize that everything you ever thought you knew about yourself, your life, your family, and your friends was wrong. Sick meant the world, and Bella felt like she was floating in a sea of it. And that the damn lifeboat was always a good fifty feet away, no matter how hard she tried to get at it.

And try she did. If anything, Bella was like a mule in her stubbornness. When she made a decision that was that. And that was why she was in the airport that day, staring at Esme and then at the door behind her. At the lack of sunlight, at the clouds ready to let loose their torrents of rain. And she knew that she was sick, and she knew that she was changing.

Again.

But maybe, this time, she was changing for the better.

Esme observed the strange girl. Her eyes were glazing over and the expression on her face… it wasn't an expression, really. It was just nothing. Nothing there at all. The way one might look after they have died and all their skin disintegrated. The expression she had on her face was one that would be more appropriate on a skull's. More appropriate on something that seemed as if had never held the life of another inside it.

"Yes, Esme, it seems so." She picked up her bag, pulled her suitcase close to her body, and looked expectantly at her aunt. Esme tried to look her in the eyes.

She found that she wasn't able to.

But we are, we always are. If we could just get over our emotions and anticipations and just observe, we would be able to see anything. Anything at all.

Esme turned and walked out the doors, Bella close on her heels. The two made a strange sight; an average enough girl with above average looks, waltzing along like she'd seen it all and the world could just go crawl in a hole and die a painful death for all she cared. And an above average woman with rather average wife-ish looks, who looked like the world had never even crossed her path yet. The biggest difference however, was the one you couldn't see. It was the one you could feel.

Esme had a path and she was walking along it. Sure, she encountered the minor bump or crossroad along the way, but she was sure of her path and the journey was smooth.

Bella didn't have a path. She was a wanderer, she had nowhere left to go, nobody left to turn to. Bella was paving her own path, starting from scratch and, mind my French, pulling out the motherfucking cement mixer to get her on her way. Would anybody follow her down that road was what she wanted to know.

But, true to her stubborn Bella ways, she refused to look back, only forward. Even if forward was still swathed in impenetrable fog and intimidating noises. Oh well, we've all had to deal with the things that go bump in the night.

Although, I'm guessing that none of us would ever like to revisit those memories. Just saying.

We watch as they push through a lingering crowd and approach the old, weather-beaten purple Volkswagen Bug. The ultimate VWB. And the absolute last thing Bella would ever want to be seen in.

"Is _that_ your _car?_" she was astounded that such a thing could even be considered a car. She might as well be riding around in a dune buggy puked on by Barney. But Esme loved the old thing. And Esme, being Esme, didn't see how anybody couldn't love it. So she didn't even see the plain dislike on Bella's face as she viewed the vile thing; instead of a frown, she saw artistic contemplation, instead of a snort of disgust, she heard a snort of approval. Then again, how anybody could snort in approval was beyond me.

But obviously, not beyond Esme.

She broke into a cherubic grin as she regarded her prized possession. She looked just like a little kid, all proud and adorable with that big dopey expression on her sweet-natured face. Bella, once catching sight of that look, promptly attempted to look like she adored the thing. She didn't want to put Esme in a 'my puppy got run over by a car' mood. So she tried to smile at the abomination.

"Honey, are you sure you're not sick?" Esme's brow was furrowed in concern as she regarded what looked like her niece burning at the stake. Bella gave up, sighed, and opened the door without another word.

Silence is golden, after all.

Esme shrugged and stepped around the other side of the car. She got in, started up the fruity little bug thing, and pulled out of the parking lot, just barely missing the troop of Brownie Scouts behind her.

"Trip to Italy Badge," Bella frowned, neck turned, as she watched the suitcase laden grade-schoolers swagger their way behind the car, "they went to Italy? What?" Esme sighed and smiled at her knowingly.

"Isn't it ridiculous? When _I _was a Brownie, we got knitting badges. I still have mine," she reached across Bella and pulled open the glove box while still driving. Bella watched in horror as they missed the death carrying Pizza Piazza truck miss them by about a centimeter.

Esme rummaged on.

"Esme! Watch where you're going, you're going to get us killed!" Esme wasn't paying attention.

"It's in here somewhere, I know it is… Aha!" She triumphantly pulled out a moldy green fabric thing that looked like it had been in that glove box for about a century and a half. Bella's pale face was on the road as they dodged a biker, a large pole, a tree, and a crowd of screeching pedestrians.

Esme thrust the ugly thing in her face then turned and got back to driving.

"Oh silly me!" She giggled joyously, "We're on the wrong side of the road!" Bella just gave a rather dazed 'uh-huh', threw the trashy badge that had almost gotten them killed back into the glove box, and closed it with a final smack.

A half hour later, after passing up the buzzing Seattle city, Esme pulled onto an adjoining road; a _dirt_ road. With stones and such. The car bounced along as Esme hummed a tune. Bella's teeth clanked against each other and she hurriedly pulled on her seat belt, hoping it would control her movements. It was all in vain.

_Bounce, bounce, bounce. Bounce, bounce, bounce._

"Hey, good looking! What you got cooking?" Esme crooned the dreadful song, sadly making it sound a lot more like the original than Bella would ever have enjoyed.

"Heyyyyyyyyyyy good lookin'. Whhhhhhhhhhhhatch ya got cookin'?" Bella stuffed her fingers in her ears and hoped to any deity that Esme wouldn't be offended by her 'la-la-la-ing'. Esme didn't seem to mind, she was in her own world, singing that same verse over and over again; it was the only one she knew.

I hope she's not offended if I do the same. La-la-la-la-la-la.

Eventually, the dirt road ran back into a normal road, with lines and highway-ish things. A large forest rose up threateningly on each side of the road, leaving it in shadow and mystique.

After a few more minutes of incessant torture, Bella caught sight of a large and very old cardboard sign that looked like it was barely being held up. It was half shrouded by the trees' shadows and seemed rather forlorn on that big empty road all by itself. She took a closer look.

And she could just barely make out a **Welcome to Forks** under all the graffiti. She got one last glimpse of the tattered old thing before they had passed it up. And one last look at the graffiti.

**Turn back if you can! Save yourselves!**

**Welcome to Forks' Asylum, Home of the Loony Bins.**

**Come on in, bring your children. You'll NEVER leave again.**

**Imma shove a fork up your-**

"Charming." Bella's lips pursed in worry.

"Huh?" Esme pulled out of her daze. Then she looked at Bella who was trying to look back at the sign which was quickly becoming part of the distance.

"The sign? Oh, isn't it beautiful? It was the school's local art project back in the 50's. But now it's covered in graffiti. Nice graffiti, some of it, but still graffiti." She sighed. Bella gawked. What, there was nothing weird about the contents of the graffiti? Nothing disturbing about it? Bella was disturbed to the tenth degree.

And Esme…well, Esme wasn't disturbed. At all.

Bella and Esme sat in silence for another five minutes. Then Esme swayed in her seat and pulled one hand off the steering wheel to pump it in the air.

"Woo-hoo! Welcome to your new home Bella! Welcome to Forks!" Bella looked around for Forks. But all she saw was more trees.

"You don't live in some random shack in the woods, do you?" Esme giggled and shook her head. Then she pointed at a random shack in the woods.

"No, silly! _Tanya_ lives in a shack in the woods. _We_ live in a house in town." Esme slowed down the car and pulled up to the square excuse for a home. She got out and knocked on the swinging hinge door, waiting for someone to come out.

Bella rolled up the windows, locked the doors, and made sure the key was in the ignition.

Esme knocked on the door again and pulled a package out of her coat pocket. She held the package in the air and started waving it at the door, crooning a low chant. The sweet aroma pervaded the car and Esme's chants echoed off the nearby trees.

Bella revved the engine.

"Tanya, oh little Tanya," Esme was saying, "come out dear, I have a little snack for you." There was a grunt, a crash, and a delighted squeal before a little pile of rags came flying out of the shack. Bella pressed her face to the window just in time to see the brown garbage heap bounce up and down at Esme's feet. It was relatively short and tiny, and eventually, Bella realized that it was a human.

A little human girl.

Esme laughed and when the little girl wrapped her arms around Esme's legs, she handed her the package with a loving smile. Tanya, as Bella presumed she was called, grabbed it with greedy hands and tore it open. She took one giant bite of the steaming bagel and was soon stuffing it down her throat like a wolf. A rather deprived wolf.

Bella and Esme looked on sadly.

"Bella dear, if you open up the trunk, there's a box of stuff for Tanya there. Could you be a darling and get it for me, please?" Bella ambled out of the car, popped the trunk open, and quickly found the mammoth box. She dragged it out as well as she could and heaved it over to Esme, huffing and puffing the entire way.

Esme tried very hard not to laugh.

"You need to work out some child," then, while Bella glared at her, she bent down and whisked the box up with apparent ease. Tanya wasn't paying attention; she was still gobbling down her bagel. Esme kicked open the shed door and Bella followed her in. it was a pitiful sight. A dusty, splintered wooden floor that had hopefully seen better days. Discarded trash all over the floor and a smattering of dirt on every surface; and there were only the walls, floor, and small cot in the corner to act as surfaces. Esme brought her box over to the cot and pulled up a giant fold-up pillow, which she laid on the cot like a mattress. She then pulled out a huge pile of fluffy blankets and sleeping bags, some more pillows, a broom, a carpet, another bag, and a fold up chair and table. Then she went back out to the car and came back in with a mop, a bucket, and what looked like a futon.

Once again, Bella gawked.

"You managed to fit all of _that,_" she gestured wildly to the menagerie of materials, "into _that_?" she pointed at the box. Esme shrugged and deposited everything but the cleaning materials onto the cot.

"Alright Bella, how about this? You help me clean this place up and I'll introduce you to my friend here." Bella closed her mouth and nodded. Esme didn't have to convince her to lend a hand; that poor girl needed all the help she could get.

Esme handed a broom to Bella and pulled a duster out of the barrels of the humongous box. _Sweep, sweep, sweep. _Back and forth went the broom, throwing up dust tornadoes and debris from who knows how long. Bella's eyes watered at the offending dirt, but she kept on with her sweeping, maintaining a steady rhythm. _Sweep, sweep, sweep_ into a pile. _Sweep, sweep, sweep _out the little door. She poked her head out and saw Tanya, following the crazily spiraling dust with her eyes.

Bella stopped for a moment and observed the urchin before her. She had small loose-hanging strawberry blonde curls that were caked with dirt and dust so that it looked almost sandy in color. Her face was streaked with every color of brown and black, soot and earth, filth and decay. The young eyes following the dust were a smooth gray blue color, like the sky covered in a bank of warm wooly clouds. And in the gray blue, there was a speckled dusting of green, little emeralds swimming in the clouds. Her lashes were long, her cheekbones were high; her lips were a coral pink and pouty, her eyebrows were lofty and regal. All in all, the urchin caked in dirt and grime was a fine specimen of beauty. She was a gorgeous little girl, one of those people who could grow up and just be walking down the streets when they're waylaid by paparazzi, who mistake them for Megan Fox or Jessica Alba. This beautiful little girl; living in this broken down shack with no parents in sight. It was enough to make one want to cry.

But Bella didn't cry, so when she felt the water pricking at her eyes, she told herself it was the dust and went back to the sweeping motion of her broom. In no time at all it seemed, the small room was swept, dusted, mopped, and lovely clean. Esme set up the bed with pillows and blankets while Bella got to putting down the carpet. It was a warm blue color, like Tanya's eyes, and it covered most of the offending floor. Then the chair and table were set up in one corner, the nice little futon acting as a couch in another part of the room, the bag in the box was shown to contain clothes for Tanya: pants, shirts, sweaters, gloves, scarves, hats, jeans, coats, socks, and underwear. All the essentials. Then Esme pulled out the basket and opened it for Tanya, who was eyeing it like it was the Holy Grail.

There were loaves of bread, jugs of juice and water, dozens of wrapped sandwiches, boxes of cookies and snacks, a few things of cereal, plastic bowls and cups and spoons, lettuce leaves, packaged fruits like peaches and pears, apples, grapes, cheese sticks, and a little package of sweets. She laid the basket on the table in the corner and turned to Tanya.

"Now, young lady. I expect you get yourself washed off in that hot spring of yours that isn't too far off. And you know that you need to save up this food here. And get changed. I'll be in to check on you tomorrow on my way to work, okay?" Tanya nodded eagerly, her big eyes rounder than ever. She rushed forward all of a sudden and hugged Esme's legs. Then she walked shyly over to Bella and crooked her finger. Bella bent down.

"Follow the White Rabbit," she whispered, her voice all small and sweet. Bella looked her in the eye and frowned confusedly, but she shrugged. Then Tanya hugged her too. Bella sniffled, and tried to cover it up with a cough.

"Okay, Bella. I think we should be going now," Bella nodded and followed Esme back to the car. She watched from the window as the forlorn little girl waved happily at them while they drove away. She smiled.

"Esme, do you mind explaining?" Esme grinned at her. Then she sobered up some.

"A few months ago, I was driving home from work past that shed, as I always did. I'd always assumed that it was empty and had found no evidence to the contrary until that day. I was going slow, taking my time, in no rush to get home, when I happened to look out the window. And saw a little face peeping out from behind the door. I went to investigate and found a little girl, covered in dirt and starving. I tried to approach her, but she backed into a corner and whimpered, cowering in fear. So I brought a piece of cake I had lying in the car to her. She pounced on it and after a few mouthfuls told me that her name was Tanya. She said she had no parents and that the little shack was her home. And from that day on, we were friends," Esme smiled wistfully.

"I've tried to take her home with me more times than I can count, but she refuses to budge. She loves that old place and wouldn't give it up for the world. I don't have it in me to take it away from her. So I bring food for her every day on my way to or from work in Seattle. I was here yesterday, looking around at the place, and I had the best idea to clean it up a bit and make it more like a home. So I brought all this stuff with me when I came to pick you up. I figured you wouldn't mind helping a girl in need, kind hearted that you are," they smiled at each other.

"So, what did she say to you? Tanya, I mean. The dear girl has some strange moments here and there, but she's a sweetheart nonetheless. Actually, the things she says are uncanny. Like just the other day…" Esme shook her head. Bella looked on curiously.

"Um, she just told me her name, that's all," Bella didn't know why, but she didn't exactly want to tell Esme what the little girl had said. It was a secret, and she hated secrets, but really. What harm could it do?

Follow the White Rabbit. _What_ could that even mean?

Snicker. Oh, I'm going to have _so_ much fun with this one.

Bella dragged herself out of her head as they neared a few buildings. Civilization at last. Well, maybe civilization was a little too…sophisticated…for the place they were approaching. Bella counted four buildings: a gas station, a goods store, a library, and a supermarket before they were back in the unknown again. They passed more trees and then there was a larger building with a parking lot in front of it.

The sign in front read Forks High School. In big purple letters.

She examined the low brown brick structure, her new school, before they had it passed up again. They passed up another building which was a preschool and grade school, then a bunch of houses. They were always passing houses. Big houses, little houses, cream houses, pink houses, brick houses, wood houses, even apartment buildings and trailers. Then they got to another sign saying: **You are now leaving Forks, population 2389.**

And right in front of the sign was a coffee colored brick house. Quaint and small. And utterly perfect.

"I guess the population is 2390 now that you're here," Esme ran over to the sign and made like she was going to cross out the number and replace it with a forty. Bella giggled. Then she stopped abruptly and hopped out of the ugly little car.

"Wait, they can count out the population?" Esme nodded and went to get Bella's suitcase like it was no big deal that a town was able to count out its exact population. Bella didn't mention it again, there wasn't any point. Obviously Esme didn't have a problem with it, so why should she?

"Here I'll take that," Esme grabbed Bella's handbag and walked into the house. Bella followed her in through a sitting room with carpeted floors and vintage seats, through a canary yellow kitchen, and up some creaky stairs. Eight steps up, one step forward, two steps right and Bella entered her new room. Esme dropped the case, stated what Bella was in her new room (which she already knew), and told her to get comfortable.

"You've got fifteen minutes," then Esme turned on her heel and clattered down the stairs. Bella sat down on her bed and observed the room. The walls were a light red, the bed was small and covered with a quilt. The pillows were black, the dresser was big, the window was round, and there was a window seat with pillows on it. One corner held a desk, the other a door, and the other another door; the fourth corner had nothing but peeling wallpaper and floor. Okay, three doors, one bed, one desk, one dresser, one window, one window seat, four walls, a ceiling, and a floor.

Huh. Such an untraditional room, wouldn't you say?

Bella moved to the door on the left and peered in. The room beyond was dark so she fumbled for a switch. She flipped it on and observed a small pantry sized room with some shelves and clothing racks. Obviously a closet. She flipped the light switch and closed the door behind her on the way out.

She opened the door on the right, turned on the light and was met with a small shower, a toilet, white tiled floors, a sink with a cabinet and a mirror. Bella studied the mirror from afar, she didn't really feel like looking at her reflection right then, so she walked out and shut the door behind her. She sat down on the bed.

She put up her hair. Then she got up and looked out the window.

And standing in the woods was a small figure with black spiky hair. She peeked out from behind a tree and squealed. Then the figure, a girl, was zipping across the lawn with almost unimaginable speed. She ran into Esme, who let out an 'oompf' that Bella could hear from the window. Bella smiled at her enthusiasm. Then she saw something that stopped her heart mid beat.

Bella had good vision, it was one of her redeeming qualities. So when she looked down on the scene below her, her eyes were drawn to a little patch of white on the girl's left shoulder.

A tattoo.

Of a white rabbit. A White Rabbit holding a watch in its hand. You know the one, "I'm late! I'm late!"

Oh, let the games begin! Like I said, we're going to have _fun_ with this one.

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Song: I Will Walk 500 Miles. (Not by the Proclaimers)

Reviews: You're tempted, you know you are. Press the button.....


	3. A Hole In the Ground

Disclaimer: I'm not SM. I am PenguinsonJupiter13. So read on and hopefully you will enjoy.

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"**I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, because I'm not myself, you see."**

**-Lewis Carroll**_** Alice in Wonderland**_

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_

She told me later that she couldn't find it within her to regret him. She told me that she was still unsure as to whether or not he had done her wrong. Because, in a sick and twisted way, she believed it was all for the best.

_And that she may have deserved it._

_Bella told me that it was all meant to happen, that there was a certain fate and destiny to it all. I don't believe in fate or destiny. And I don't think that she does either. But the way we met has to make me wonder sometimes. It was too coincidental for my liking, and I like coincidental. Coincidences are the easy way out; they provide for you an explanation when shit hits the fan. But I was still a little creeped out by the chain of events that brought us to that one moment in time: Bella's character in Phoenix, her stature and her life, the one who had stolen her heart and broken it, her betrayal, her journey to this little corner of the world, Tanya, my tattoo. It was random and out there but it had a weird premeditated order to it._

_Although, when I mention this, she denies it. Or at least she denies one part._

_She says _he_ didn't break her heart because she doesn't believe that her heart can feel. She doesn't believe that her heart can love and she most definitely denies that it can be broken. Even though every time she says _his_ name she holds a hand to her chest, like she's trying to hold herself together. Whenever she says it I can see the wounds._

His_ name was James, is James. And he introduced her to her fractures. And if I ever meet him, I don't know whether I should kick his scrawny ass or if I should thank him._

_Because James was the reason she left._ _And he's the reason as to why she's here today._

I looked up to see a rather pretty face looking down at me in wonder. She had big brown eyes and silky brown hair; her skin was whiter than my backside before tanning season and she looked like she knew how to have a good time.

But, then again, maybe her definition of a good time and mine differ. They usually do.

I waved at the girl behind the window and she hesitantly pulled up her own hand to give me a little finger seizure that was supposed to translate as a friendly gesture of greeting. Well, at least she used all five fingers and not just one in particular. I grinned at her cautious facial expression, I mean, what was there to be afraid of? I was only four foot-ten and I was told that I look like a fairy. Fairy's aren't threatening, are they? At least it wasn't Emmet she was getting a first glimpse of; he looked like a grizzly bear. But me? Scary? Should my appearance induce caution in random girls behind my favorite neighbor's window?

Oh goodness, I sincerely hope not.

"Hey, Esme," the wonderfully amazing neighbor of mine smiled at me, "who's the nervous chick in your window?" Esme's smile got wider.

"That's my niece Isabella, I told you about her, didn't I? I just picked her up from the airport," I brightened at that. This was Isabella, huh? Well we had all certainly heard enough from her when Esme came over to ogle Daddy Carlisle. In between the incessant flirting of my father and my favorite woman on the planet, we would get just oodles of gushing on this Isabella character.

Isabella's so smart… Isabella's so pretty… Isabella's so nice… Isabella's just your age, I'd bet you'll all be great friends!

Well, that was a summarization at least.

Now I was interested in this Isabella person. She sounded like she would be a great potential friend for me. I can't tell the future or anything like that but I had a strong feeling about this girl. And seeing her pale, scared face in the window made me want to run up and give her a hug. She looked like she needed a friend like me.

And by friend like me, I mean someone who is fun, funny, and amazing. It's not vanity if it's the absolute truth. Insert texting smiley faces.

But when Esme had done her little rant on Isabella while making googly eyes and Daddy C, my brothers and I had taken quite an interest. Esme was a great woman, as we already knew, and she was always truthful. So whatever she said about the Swan girl had to be true.

But not all of us had become interested in a…healthy…way.

Emmet and I were just looking for a new best friend. Emmet's girlfriend Rosalie was looking for someone who wasn't related to Emmet so she could brag about his sexing skills to them. And Edward wasn't looking for the Swan girl at all…at first.

Then Esme brought in the picture.

It was a pretty picture I guess, taken more recently. I think it was a Christmas picture or something, like one of those family pictures your parents force you into every single damn year. But yeah, Esme brought in the Christmas picture. She seemed kind of sad when she looked at it, but happy at the same time. Which didn't make sense _at all_, but it was Esme. And Esme so very rarely makes sense.

We had all seen at once that Isabella was beautiful.

Her hair was styled in long mahogany waves, tied back in a clip with little strands hanging around her face. She wore no make-up because she didn't need it; her skin was flawless and porcelain, her lashes were long, her brown eyes were big and expressive, her lips were red like a cherry. She had high cheekbones, a small chin and nose, pouty lips, and an elegant brow. She was dressed in a pair of form fitting black pants and a silky blue over shirt. The ensemble emphasized her hourglass figure and long legs. She was very pretty. But it was her eyes that we were all drawn to.

Her eyes were tortured.

This girl, no _woman_, before us looked like she had been stabbed repeatedly. Her eyes were churning with agony and despair. There were deep bruises under her eyes and tight lines around her mouth and eyes that shouldn't have been in someone her age. She looked terrifies and furious and broken.

Edward had started calling her the Fallen Angel.

Isabella was standing next to what we could only assume were her father and her mother. Her dad, Charlie, looked like a nice and clueless man. His eyes seemed far away and his smile was dumb and unknowing. His arm was around Isabella and she leaned from him.

But he didn't seem to notice.

Her mother looked like she was having the time of her life. Actually, she looked smug.

Her eyes tried to convey an innocent, genuine, and heartfelt greeting for the holiday but to me it looked fake as a plastic doll's boobs. Her smile was more of a smirk than anything and did not, under any terms, match her eyes. She too was seemingly oblivious to her daughter's sadness in the photo. And she too leaned away from Charlie's hand on her back.

She also leaned away from Isabella.

Maybe I was reading into the picture too much, but it seemed like the family in that photo had quite a few personal issues.

But the most surprising thing wasn't the picture that evening.

It was Edward.

He took one look at Isabella and seemed to go into shock. His eyes were wide as saucers, the pupil almost swallowing the green iris. His mouth dropped open and gaped like a fish gulping water. His whole body tensed and then went slack and then went tense again. And after that, well, he smiled.

He smiled this huge, large, completely un-Edward smile at the picture. It was crooked and adorable and would have been devastating if I wasn't his sister. I will be the first to admit that my brother is abnormally attractive, actually I've often been jealous of his good looks. But just the way he smiled at picture Bella…

It was almost like he was in love.

Seriously, Edward never stopped talking about her after seeing that picture. And I could completely tell that it wasn't exactly innocent interest. Esme had put the picture up on our fridge before she left and it was mysteriously gone a few hours later.

I'm pretty sure I knew where it went too.

Edward's abnormal transfixion with this girl was, like I said, abnormal. Edward _never_ took an interest in girls. I'm sure he's kissed and done such and such with girls before, but he just doesn't seem to show any sort of fixation with them whatsoever. He's not a player either, he's just oblivious. Girls fawn and flirt and basically shove their assets in his face but he almost never takes the initiative. He just gives them a sort of disinterested sigh-smile thing. He's probably perfected that thing. I've watched him break girls hearts unintentionally since kindergarten. He'd look them in the eye, nod at them distractedly, turn away from them and sigh. And whenever he sighed you could see the tears welling up and the mascara running down their faces.

I've yelled at him who knows how many times to be more considerate, but he doesn't seem to take a hint. Actually, he doesn't even understand that he's hurting their feelings. He's a softie, really he is, and he would never _intentionally _make a girl cry. I remember one time in sixth grade (Edward and I are twins so I was actually there in the classroom as this all went down) he said he would go to a girl's birthday party. She ran at him like a linebacker and I barely had time to even contemplate what the hell was going on before she had him knocked to the ground and molested. Boy had lipstick stains all over his face for about an hour there.

I couldn't stop laughing at him and the damn water-proof lipstick kisses.

And when the teacher came in she demanded to know why there were kisses all over his sweet boyish face and I had to tell her that I painted them on there with my new lipstick because I was experimenting to see if it was actually water proof. Needless to say, I got to write lines that consisted of "I will not paint my brother's face with lipstick." But it was all worth it. That had to be one of the funniest days of my life.

And one of the worst days of Edward's.

Emmet was proud though. He was a big seventh grader at the time and was proud of Edward for "getting his freak on." That was the icing on the cake. I sincerely had to change because I had laughed so hard I had peed my pants.

It still brings a smile to my face, even now.

"Alice? Aliiiiiice?" Esme was waving her hand in front of my face. I shook myself and hopped off memory lane. It was time to go meet Miss Isabella Swan.

I ran into the house and bounded up the stairs. Then I came to a very neat little bounce right in front of the open door and the once empty doorway which now held a very surprised looking Isabella Swan.

"Hello there, my name is Alice Cullen. And you must be Isabella Swan." I held out my hand to her. She reached out cautiously and shook.

"I prefer Bella," she smiled at me. Then she got a weird look on her face.

"Actually, can you give me a second?" I nodded at her, confused as she walked towards the stairs. And then I got even more confused as she started to holler.

"Esme!" She yelled down the stairs.

"Yes, dear?" Esme called back up. Bella pulled in a deep breath and in a slightly quieter voice yelled out again.

"What's my name?" Alright. What is going on in that girl's head? I saw the same look of bemusement on Esme's face as she ascended the stairs. Then she was on the landing with us, staring Isabella down.

"What?" she looked totally confused.

"What's my name?" Bella repeated and even from here I could see the fire in her eyes.

"Bella, dear, what do you mean?" then she looked like she got it, "Do you not like being called Bella, Isabella? I know that Isabella is your real name but Bella… I don't know. I guess it just slipped out," then she looked at Bella/Isabella more carefully, "It seemed to fit," she said quietly, solemnly. Bella's almost suspicious look gave way to a brilliant smile as she hugged Esme, hard.

"I like Bella. No, I _love_ Bella. I _am_ Bella." I smiled wistfully at the strange girl before me. She was strong and passionate and eccentric and I already had the strangest feeling that I liked her. Even though I hadn't said more than two sentences to her.

Esme wiped away what looked suspiciously like a tear, and trotted back down the steps to go garden or flirt with my dad; those were her two favorite activities. Bella turned back to me and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry about that, it just occurred to me that Esme had been calling me Bella and I never told her that I prefer to be called Bella now. Isabella's long dead," a hard glint came into her eyes and I saw some steel floating around in the warm brown. But she smiled again and it melted away like butter on a piece of toast.

"Well then Bella, I think that it is time to officially introduce myself. My name is Alice Cullen, I am 4 feet 10 inches tall and I am seventeen years old. I have two brothers, Emmet and Edward, and an amazing boyfriend named Jasper. My father is Esme's wet dream and I love Esme because she's our only neighbor who is even mildly interesting. Forks High is the most boring school in the world and Forks has less action than Mike Newton, who has never been laid. I like to think that I am fun, quirky, gorgeous, and the best friend that anyone has ever had but I have trust issues and I have yet to figure out whether or not I like you. I'll call you on Monday and tell you if you've been bumped up to friend status and then you can go meet my brothers. Phew." Bella stared at me with her big brown eyes when I came to the end of my rant. And then she burst out laughing.

Hmm, maybe I wouldn't have to wait until Monday.

"Well," she finally stopped guffawing and snorting, "that was quite an introduction, Alice. My name is Bella Swan, formerly Isabella. I moved from Phoenix, Arizona for reasons I will not get into right now," a cloud of sadness passed over her expressive eyes.

"I am 5 feet 3 inches and I am currently single. Horrifying, isn't it? I look forward to meeting the people of Forks and I hope to all hell that this is not a loony bin like the welcome sign's graffiti said. And, most importantly, I want to know why the heck you have that tattoo on your shoulder." She pointed at my rabbit and I grinned back at her.

This was a very straightforward and blunt kind of girl.

I liked her. She didn't speak in Bullshit.

The Rabbit was a reminder of the very day I met my true love. And it was always a memory trigger. So the strange brown-eyed girl and I took a seat in the hallway and I took a trip down memory lane while she stared on in amusement.

_**One year earlier:**_

"_Emmet!" my voice was hopefully not as high-pitched as I thought it sounded. My older brother had just stopped by to tell me that he was going to a party without me._

_Without me!_

_And at the party was Jasper Hale. THE Jasper Hale. The most gorgeous boy in all of Forks. His sister, Rosalie, was all Emmet cared about. She was gorgeous and the two siblings shared the same blue eyes and blonde hair. They both were well shaped and gorgeous. And Emmet and I were obsessed._

_Emmet actively stalked Rosalie. And Rosalie, being coy, actively rejected his advances. Although it was so obvious that she liked him as much as he liked her and her…assets. It was only a matter of time before the two of them gave in to their inner freaks and got it on then kept it on forever and had that fucking happily ever after that everyone was always talking about._

_I was actively obsessed with Jasper. He didn't know I existed._

_I had never said so much as a whole sentence to him because every time he got near, I went into a stupor. I don't think he ever even looked at me twice. He said 'hi, Alicia' to me once and I swooned. Even though my name was Alice. Not Alicia. Rosalie and Emmet were a year ahead of Edward, Jasper, and I. Actually, Jasper and Edward were friends. Not best friends or anything, Edward had relationship issues, but they were friends. In a peculiar guy way. Jasper came over to our house once to help work on a project with Edward and I nearly fainted when I opened the door. That's when he said 'hi Alicia' and then moved on when he saw Edward. _

_We were in the same history class last year. Freshman year of course. I sat two rows behind him and gazed dreamily at the back of his head all period. Needless to say, I just barely passed the class and managed to stay out of summer school by about one D grade._

_Stupid, gorgeous Jasper Hale._

_But Emmet just had to take me to the party. It was only about a week until school started so this was one of those goodbye freedom parties. And I had developed more over the summer. My body had filled out and I lost my baby fat. I actually looked like a real high schooler now and I was going to be a sophomore! A sophomore! _

_Things were bound to change. And they were going to start changing at the party. I just knew it._

_So I begged and begged Emmet, and he finally caved when I agreed to bake him some cookies when we got home. He was a sucker for baked goods. Edward declined when I asked if he wanted to go. He said that he was avoiding that Lauren girl who was supposed to be at the party. I understood completely. Lauren was a bitch and she was obsessed with both of my brothers. She had come on to Edward and Emmet more times than I could count._

_And she might actually help us out a bit tonight._

_Because other than my happiness, I was thinking about Emmet and Rosalie. If Lauren hit on Em at the party it could be the pin that popped the balloon. Rosalie was a very volatile person from what I had witnessed so far. And her potential jealousy could help me out VERY much. I just needed to help set the wheels in motion._

_I got on my light blue, form fitting tank top with the big Superman logo on it and paired it with a pair of dark black jean shorts and my emerald green high-tops. I mussed up my short spiky hair and applied light mascara and coral lip gloss. I looked fun and cute and hopefully hot._

_Hopefully hot to Jasper Hale._

_I jumped the stairs two steps at a time and full out sprinted to Emmet's Jeep. The monster invited me with big open doors and a grinning Em behind the wheel. I slammed the door and he slammed the accelerator. We were off, both of us giddy and nervous and scared shitless but still looking forward to a good time._

"_Em? Mallory will be there," he grimaced at the mention of Lauren, "and, as per usual, she is going to hit on you. Don't react, just nod when she talks and step back when she gets too close. But I want you to make sure that Rose can see you when it's going on. The point is to make her absurdly jealous but to not give the impression that you sincerely enjoy Lauren's company? Got it?" He looked confused but nodded. And then it was his turn._

"_Don't let any of those pricks near you. And Hon? Let Jasper chase a bit before you give in, he's been too damn oblivious for you to be nice to him tonight, okay?" I blushed and smiled at my big brother. He always knew just what to say._

_Okay, maybe not. But when he did know what to say it was usually the right thing. Sometimes. Okay never. So this was a rare occurrence. And I was proud of him for it._

"_Oh, and if I so much as see that fucker's tongue down your throat, he's dead. And I'd better not; I'll be too busy reminding Rosie why the fuck she wants me to worry about J. Hale over there. Got it?" I sighed. Good ol' Emmet, ruining the good moments with his idiotic and tactless comments as per usual._

_I nodded and looked out the window, envisioning my meeting with Jasper. He would see me and he would run to me and we would magically be in a field full of flowers. And then he would embrace me, tell me he loved me, we would make out for a few minutes, and then we'd ride off into the proverbial sunlight together. It was going to be perfect. I was in my little happy bubble, waiting for the moment that we would see Jasper and he would declare that we were to be married in five months._

_So it was, with bubble in place, that I jumped out of the car and waited for Jasper to notice me and start running._

_Then I turned to the right, saw a blonde haired archangel, a red slut, and my bubble popped. Jasper was making out with that whore Victoria. The whore who just recently broke up with James after being cheated on. And I could see James in my periphery, glaring at the redhead. Oh, I get it. She was trying to make him jealous._

_By making out with _my_ Jasper. And he was reciprocating._

_Oh hell no._

_The bubble came back with some steel fucking armor and I was barreling my way over there like a bull. With courage and insanity I never knew I possessed, I grabbed James by the arm and dragged him over to the still oblivious couple. James didn't even have time to protest as I hauled him to his sleazebag counterpart. Then I grabbed the whore by her stupid red hair and yanked her away from my future husband. Then, still holding Victoria's hair and James's arm, I made them face each other._

"_James," my voice was scary, even to me, "say you're sorry." He looked at me like he didn't know what the fuck I was talking about but then he seemed to notice how serious I was and turned to Victoria. His fingers were shaking just the tiniest bit._

"_Vicky, I'm sorry. I was a douche. But I still love you," I nodded and turned to Victoria._

"_Now you," I pointed threateningly at her, "you say it's okay. And then you say sorry to Jasper for using him to make James jealous, ya hear me?" Her eyes were wide and scared as she turned to James. Then they were warm and hopeful and sickeningly sweet._

_I wanted to puke, but I figured that would ruin the moment._

"_James, I forgive you. And I still love you. Can we be back together? I miss you," then she turned to an incredulous Jasper, "and Jasper, you're a great guy, but I'm sorry. I was using you and I am really sorry about that. Can you forgive me?" Jasper's beautiful blue eyes were still slightly confused, but he nodded and turned to me. I felt like he was looking into my soul. I was just about to tell him that I had planned a June wedding but he was already gone._

"_Tarnations!" I screamed._

"_Mmph, mwah, smack," said the octopus sucking in its prey to my right. Oh wait, never mind. That wasn't an octopus. It was James and Vicky, licking the insides of each other's mouths like their tongues were lollipops or something. I sighed and went to search for my elusive prince charming._

_An hour later, I was still without luck. Where could he have gone? I had searched the house and the shed and the yard and every single place I could think of. I had run into five other party-goers and proclaimed my love for their blonde selves before I realized they weren't him. Actually one of them wasn't even _a _him. Yeah, awkward turtle._

_If I was Jasper and I was hiding from myself (which he wasn't doing because he loves me, he was just lost) where would I hide-er- get lost in?_

_That's when I got hit on the head with a tennis ball. I looked up and saw nothing but the house. But that tennis ball had to have come from somewhere…of course! The roof!_

_I found Emmet, who was running away from Lauren, and asked him to stand under the roof. Then I climbed on his shoulders and clambered up onto the roof's edge. Emmet let out a girly squeak when I told him that I could see Lauren moving his way and he ran off. I sat up slowly and looked around the flat roof, but I could see at once that Jasper wasn't there. So I turned to somehow jump down or call back Emmet._

_That's when it happened._

_I saw it in slow motion. I swear._

_First I saw Em, the great big bear that he is, talking to Rosalie. And Rosalie had her hand on his arm, her boobs in his face, and a big smile on her face. Emmet's smile was even bigger as the two of them leaned in closer to each other. Their lips only centimeters apart. I was clapping and urging them on when I happened to catch sight of a mop of bright yellow hair._

_Lauren._

_Her face was a blotchy red color and it made her look like a tomato with a mop of sunshine-ish hair. She was staring at Rosalie and Emmet with a look of absolute hatred on her face. Or, at least, she was staring at Rosalie that way._

_She picked up a cup of what appeared to be some fruity punch drink. It was only half full but Lauren didn't plan on drinking it. Oh no, this was not going to be good._

_Lauren traipsed towards the whispering couple, cup in hand. Oblivious, Rosalie leaned in closer. Their lips were just brushing now. I could almost hear the Jaws music in the background. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun…_

_Rose pressed her lips firmly to Emmet's, Lauren raised the cup, I screamed in terror._

"_Emmet!" he turned just as the cup tipped._

_Right all over Rosalie's blonde head._

_Dead. Fucking. Silence._

_It was completely quiet. There weren't even crickets chirping. Everyone was staring at the three people in the middle, mouths open in shock. Lauren was smirking, Emmet was nearly catatonic, and Rosalie… well…_

_Rosalie was pissed._

_I could understand what was going on in her head, actually in everybody's head, at the moment. Rosalie was the most beautiful, most popular girl at Forks High. She was also really very scary. And she was just about to kiss one of the hottest guys at the school, my brother, for the first time._

_And this damn sophomore who lacked any brain or self preservation had dumped a drink all over her beautiful envious curls?_

_What. The. Fuck._

"_What. The. Fuck?" Rose was staring down Lauren, who she was admittedly taller than, and Lauren was still smirking._

"_Who the hell do you think you are?" Rosalie's voice was icy. Lauren sneered._

"_Who the hell do _you_ think_ you _are? That's my boyfriend you were just kissing you dirty whore." Emmet was shaken out of his stupor at the word boyfriend. His eyes narrowed and he stepped forward. He bared his teeth at Lauren as he slowly put an arm around Rose's waist._

"_One, I'm not your boyfriend. Tow, Rosie isn't a whore. And three, you are bat shit crazy if you would even for a second entertain the thought that I felt anything other than disgust and horror when I thought about you. So fuck off, why don't you? I'm busy kissing my girl." Rosalie smirked and flipped the finger at a furious Lauren. Who stood, shaking in rage, as she stared at the two._

_I giggled._

"_What's going on?" I heard a deep, unforgettable voice say in my ear. Goosebumps raised on my arms and I shivered. Only one guy sounded like that; a mix of deep and soft and hard and Southern._

_Jasper Hale._

_I turned, and sure enough, saw Jasper squatting next to me, a beer in hand. I raised my eyebrows at him in a 'why are you on the roof' gesture. He shrugged back at me in a 'why are you' kind of way. I smiled._

"_Well," I said, heart beating like it was trying to hop out of my chest, " Lauren just dumped a drink on your sister because her and Emmet finally started to kiss and then Em called her out on it and she made a fool of herself." His eyes twinkled._

"_Huh. So my sister and your brother finally got their heads out of their asses?" I nodded, still grinning like an idiot. And barely able to concentrate. He was so close…_

_Out of the corner of my eye I could see Lauren stamp her foot and turn. Then she was walking away from the scene of the crime, head held high. _

_And she was going to walk right under the roof. Cue the lightbulb._

"_Hey, Jasper, can I see your drink for a sec?" He looked at me curiously but didn't ask. He held out the beer and I snatched it up, just as Lauren made her way onto the porch._

"_Watch and learn compadre," I winked at him. Then I looked down, saw that she was in perfect alignment, and tipped the beer onto her fake pineapple head._

_SPLASH. SCREECH._

_And then a glorious chuckle to my right._

_I grinned in victory as Lauren screamed bloody murder and turned an even more unnatural shade of red. Then she was gone inside the house, the sound of raucous laughter following her through the door._

_Bingo._

_I turned, still high on victory, and held my hand out to Jasper. He looked down at it quizzically._

"_I'm Alice. Nice to officially meet you," he smirked and took my hand. His blue eyes were on mine as he raised it to his lips and kissed it sweetly._

"_Hello Alice, I'm Jasper. And yes, I would say that it's _very_ nice." I giggled and pulled away my hand._

"_No fair!" I teased him._

"_What?" he asked, smirk still in place._

"_You get a kiss and I don't?" I leaned in, "Well that's just not acceptable," and I pressed my lips to his. I felt him froze, but then his lips were moving with mine._

_And I was on fire as the crowd below us whistled away. We finally broke apart._

"_Took you long enough!" Somebody in the crowd shouted. I giggled again and Jasper smiled sheepishly. He reached out and caressed my cheek._

"_It sure did," he whispered. And I sighed._

_Because it really had all worked out. And I couldn't have asked for it to be any better._

Bella's eyes were wide with amusement. She was still laughing about the whole spilling beer on Lauren thing. After a bit her chuckles broke off.

"But that still doesn't explain the tattoo," she cocked her head to the side contemplatively.

"Well," I explained, "the fact that it took so long for Jasper to realize that he was in love with me became a running joke between Em, Rose, and I. We would say that I was the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland constantly saying 'I'm late! I'm late' and we'd add in something like 'I'm late in finding my soul mate' or anything ridiculous. And I one day decided that I wanted something permanent to remind me of that day. So I got a tattoo of the White Rabbit on my shoulder to remind me that even though it took him forever to stop being oblivious, he and I finally made it. And we're gonna keep at it," I sighed.

"We're in it forever," I could practically feel the dreaminess rolling off my expression.

Bella grimaced and mumbled.

"I don't believe in forever," she said. I frowned at her. Her eyes, which were only a little while ago filled with amusement, took on that steely look again.

"Why's that?" Now I was the one with my head to the side. She chuckled humorlessly.

"Because one day I'm going to die. And all I'll have left is the bones beneath my skin." She smiled at me again.

"And forever means never dying. So forever doesn't really exist for me," she shook her head.

I sighed and held out my hand. She took it and we got off the depressing subject, choosing instead to gossip. Or, at least, I gossiped and she listened. But the entire time I could feel a nagging in my mind.

And every time I looked at Bella, I could see her broken soul. I could see her cracked heart, her fractured trust, her agonized eyes, and her firm belief in endings that weren't exactly happy.

I took a good look at the girl who didn't believe in forever and then I was able to see beyond her skin, her pulse, the air inside of her, and the thoughts that coursed around in her mind like the blood in her veins. I was able to see her soul when I looked in her eyes. Really _looked_. And I made the strangest observation.

Bella believed that all that would be left when she died would be her bones and ashes. But that wasn't all that would exist. Another part of her would always live, maybe in this world, maybe in the next.

The one thing that would stay immortal was her soul.

And, supposedly, it seemed like it had already died.

* * *

Yes, there are two different people named James in this story.

Music: Bat for Lashes- Siren Song

Reviews: they're a lot like motivational cupcakes. I love cupcakes. And I lack in motivation. Send the lazy mothereffort some virtual love, please.


	4. Falling, Floating, Jumping, and Drowning

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot line. And barely even that.

"**Sentence first; verdict afterwards."- Lewis Carroll **_**Alice in Wonderland**_

_

* * *

_

That girl was a crazy whirlwind of change. She was a tornado and she didn't even know it. I had hated the thought of her, the sight of her. She was beautiful and I despised her because of it.

_Then she told me that she didn't think she was even pretty._

_I could relate with her, I had felt the same way. I had been insecure, and I pretended to be a self confident, independent, beautiful young woman. But my insecurity was for purely shallow reasons; I had created an image of myself, born from the sameness of my own reflection over the course of eighteen years. What I saw in the mirror was what I saw every day, and eventually my features had become ugly and plain on the basis that they were mundane._

_I thought I was ugly because I was bored with my virtually unchanged complexion._

_Bella thought she was ugly because of what she had been _told _by those who were supposed to see find her beautiful, and she didn't think that this conviction only lived on the surface._

_She believed she was disgusting on the inside, too. _

_I was the Rose, rotting on the inside. But Bella… Bella was the Beautiful Swan. And her wings had been crippled before she even learned how to fly._

* * *

I am the Queen and I rule this high school. I have no protesters because everyone loves me. They love my blonde hair and my blue eyes and my hourglass figure. They love my pink petal lips and my perfect teeth and my exotic style in fashion. They love how nice I am and they love the fact that I can be a raving bitch.

They love me smart and they love me dumb; they love me from my toe to my curls to my thumb. Everybody loves me, Rosalie Hale. Everyone adores me, Rose. Everyone wants to be me, perfect and beautiful. They are envious and they feel guilty for being envious because they love me. They all want me, want to be like me, want to be my friend.

Everyone loves me; everyone except for myself.

There is one person in this place that hates me. That person is me. When I look in the mirror I see no Rose. I see Thorn. I am a Thorn. I am no beauty and I am no Rose. I don't live up to this name. My parents named me Rosalie, others named me Rose. I was gifted a name without much meaning then cursed with the burden of beauty. I was a flower in bloom, the pink petals opening up to the sun as I reached my potential. And now I will wilt, because my winter is on its way.

When I heard of Isabella, and when I heard of Bella I was ecstatic. Here, again, was a girl with two titles; two names and two expectations. I want to be Rosalie, she must want to be Isabella. I hate Rose; it is the equivalent to Weed. The counterpart to Thorn. There is no Rose without a Thorn. And I was more Thorn than Rose.

And when Isabella told me she preferred Bella, the name meaning quite literally 'beauty', I began to hate her. Isabella "Bella" Swan: the beautiful and majestic Swan. Not an ugly ducking; a paragon of beauty, grace, and majesty.

I had despised her that day.

**-~ C ~-**

It all began with the patch of blue and a tinge of red framed by the window.

I was looking outside, at the big beautiful sky, when I heard that small tinny giggle. My lips curled up in a smile at the sound, which was so familiar now after a year. It was Alice; my hero's little sister and my baby brother's soul mate. Alice was a good kind. She knew the ups and the downs and she knew that shit wouldn't always run straight. And I loved her for that.

Alice was carefree and wild. Alice was beautiful and loved. Alice was a real soul, genuine and in mint condition. She was a breath of fresh air and a free spirit. Alice was a Rose. I was a Thorn, am still a Thorn. But I couldn't find it within myself to despise her. She was just too lovable. And so was Emmett, my big teddy bear.

Emmett was amazing. He made me feel like a _Rosalie_, not a Rose, not Thorn. He was beautiful on the inside and gorgeous on the outside. He was all curly black hair, big white smile, cute child-like dimples, and non-green skinned version of the Hulk. He was big and intimidating at first, but his core was soft as goo and warmer than a cup of cocoa on Christmas Eve. He made me feel like I was loved. He made me feel like I was perfect.

And for that reason alone I will always call him my hero. My soulmate. My one and only true love.

He was my Em, the love of my life.

So the Cullens were pretty fricktastic. Carlisle was super awesome as were his children. Well at least two of his children…

As with all things, the family wasn't perfect. It had one dysfunctional member. His name was Edward.

Or, more politically correct, Ed_weird_.

The child was a head case, basket case, mental case, brown leather case on fucking fire. He had some major brain cells floating in outer space somewhere. And he was kind of an asshole. But I was kind of a bitch. So I couldn't really complain.

Well, he was only ever intentionally an asshole when he was around me. Like his siblings, Edward was gifted with outrageously fine looks. He had the face, the sex hair, the apple green eyes, the killer body, the height, and the crooked smile. He was devastating, to certain girls. Not me, I preferred the Emmett type and Em was exclusive. But Edward was the cream al le crème at FHS. To most girls.

Let's underline, italicize, bold, and capitalize that word. _**MOST.**_

Although there were a few exceptions. Like Alice, his twin sister, and I, his mortal enemy.

I would be the first to admit that Edweird was beyond handsome; I would also be the first to admit that he was beyond the norm, hence the Edweird. He had chicks throwing themselves at him left, right, and center twenty-four seven. And I could count the amount of girls he had ever gone out/fooled around with on five fingers. You hear that? Five.

There was Cindy in sixth grade, total slut. She let him touch her barely there boob.

There was Mel in eighth grade. They made out behind the gym bleachers at lunch for about two weeks before Edweird decided that he was bored.

There was Kate in freshman year. On the first day of school she-er-_impressed_ Edweird with her fellatio technique. And quite thoroughly I heard.

Then Victoria and Edward tried to go it in sophomore year. But he dumped her when they hit the twelve day mark and she ended up with James.

And then there was Tanya at the beginning of the summer. Edweird and Tanya had sex when we were in Alaska for a little vacation. No strings attached; just Edweird being seduced by the super whore and losing his virginity. But whatevs, it had to happen sometime right? Edweird was kind of angry about it though.

No, actually, he was livid.

Edweird refused to talk to Tanya after that. He was a little pissed that she had gotten him drunk and then fucked him while he was just barely conscious. He was such a girl; didn't guys usually celebrate when they got together with a hot chick and didn't have to deal with a relationship? I asked Edweird about it and he had very little to say on the subject other than "Tanya's a wretch-worthy witch. Why the fuck would I be happy about having sex with that bloodsucker?" And he was somewhat right. The ho followed him around like a puppy, hoping for a repeat performance. Her whiny, nasally voice haunted us all in our living nightmares after that horrible week was over.

Tanya was pretty gorgeous on the outside and pretty wretch-worthy witchy on the inside. So Edweird had it down pat.

But Edweird was still, well, weird. And he always would be. And I counted on that to be at least one constant in my life.

But no, she had to change him too.

I was looking out the window, hearing Alice giggle like a maniac, and then I heard a slightly husky feminine voice murmuring below the window. Now, I know just about every chick in Forks and I am very good at recognizing voices. But this voice was completely unfamiliar. And so I looked out the window.

And there was the new girl.

She was short, only five foot something I guessed. She had long mahogany hair that sort of fell in waves near the bottom. There were shades of blonde and red in her hair that seemed to peek out and bask in the rare sunlight that was warming her. Her skin was pale, vampire pale, and I could tell that she had dark eyes. Not sure how dark, just dark. She was slender yet curvy, with long looking legs on her short frame, a small torso and waist, decent sized boobs, and arms that hinted at a workout every now and then.

She was beautiful.

And so, I instantly disliked her.

"Hey Alice!" I called out the window, "Who's your new friend?" I hoped she could hear the scathing tone in my voice. I didn't like this girl, and I didn't trust her.

Yeah, I'll admit that I can be a super bitch.

Alice stopped whatever the hell she was doing and stood up, wiping off grass and frowning at me the whole time.

"Rosalie, play nice," she smiled at the bitch next to her, who's face was blank as a slate of stone.

"This is Bella, Esme's niece, remember? She just moved here from Arizona, right Bella?" The girl nodded her brown head. Her pale face looked like it would have stood out in Arizona, if she _was_ from Arizona.

"I thought it was Isabella?" I frowned at her. Why the fuck did she call herself Bella? Didn't that mean beauty or some shit in Italian? Great, she's pompous and self-centered too.

"It was," _Bella_ said, "but I prefer Bella." Her voice was slightly husky and low, a nice enough voice I guess. Which just made me dislike her more.

"Huh, well then _Bella_, why the fuck are you so pale if you come from Arizona? Isn't everybody over there tan or something?" She smiled at me in what seemed like a condescending way. Bitch.

"Yeah," she replied, "but I'm part albino." She was smirking at me now. I didn't know if she was being truthful or jabbing at my intelligence, but I preferred the latter. I huffed and yelled out one more time to Ali.

"Well don't let her on my lawn; my parents don't especially like trash in the front yard," and I slammed the window closed on Alice's incredulous face and Bella's indifferent one. I was fuming for no apparent reason other than the fact that she was pretty and pale. But that didn't even occur to me as weird at the time; in my mind, it was all completely justified. And so I stomped down the steps and out the back door full to the brim with frustration and temper.

I didn't even feel guilty until later.

But I didn't go out of my way to see Alice either.

So I took a roundabout way to the Cullen's who only lived a few streets down. I didn't knock or ring the big ass door bell, I just waltzed through the door and into the front room.

"Emmett!" I screamed to the house and general and was answered with a resounding crash from upstairs. I heard footsteps come down the stairs which sounded too light to be Emmett's, and voila, Edweird appeared.

"What do you want Ed_weird_," he grimaced. I smirked.

"Nothing _Rose_. And I was here first seeing as it is my home. So I am under the impression that it is you who wants something and not I. Pray tell, Bitchalie." I rolled my eyes skyward and huffed. Edweird sauntered into the room and plopped down on the floor. Not the chair, because that would be too convenient. Nope, he just sat down on the hardwood floor.

"What do ya think, you moron? I want to see Emmett. Thus my screaming his name up the stairs," Edweird smirked at me and then grimaced again.

"Please don't say Emmett and screaming his name in the same sentence please. There's only so much I can handle," I sneered at him. Poor little pussy afraid of little old sexual references that involved his brother and arch nemesis? Awww.

Yeah. Fuck him.

"Get over it. We have sex and I continually scream his name during. Grow up a little, Edweird. Go get a girlfriend or something, I don't know! Just stop being so weird all the time about it. Jeesh," I slapped my hand over my mouth at that word. Rosalie Hale does _not_ say 'Jeesh'. That word is for losers and geezers, not for people like me. Edweird's smirk verified that he had heard the dreaded word come from my mouth, but he decided not to comment.

Smart idea. He knew how I got about Wooser Words

"Back to the point Hale. Why do you want to see Emmett? I mean, usually you just make him go over to your house, you rarely ever move your own ass over here. Unless, of course, something has happened and/or you need to get out of the house. So what's up Bitchalie? And you have to tell me or I'll definitely maybe mention that you have used a 'Wooser Word.'" I bared my teeth at him. He grinned.

Prick.

But he had a point; I usually had Em come to me. Because Rosalie didn't fetch; she was the one whipping the damn tennis ball into the nearby woods. I stuck my tongue out childishly at Edweird as he sat happily on his hard as rock floor. Then I sighed.

"Well, I looked out the window and saw Alice across the street with some random chick. And then I found out that this chick was Isabella, you know, Esme's niece? But she prefers to be called _Bella._ Since Isabella is too _plain._ And I wanted to escape her annoying voice outside my window so I came over here." Not completely the truth, but whatever. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. I looked down expecting to see Edweird still on the floor but he was gone.

What the fuck?

"Edweird?" I called it out to a seemingly empty house and was answered by a door shutting closed. Fuck, that little bitch was off to see the new girl! And I still needed to know where Emmett was!

Fucking Edweird. He always messes shit up.

I stomped out the front door after the idiot and saw a flash of his unusual bronze hair disappearing over the fence. Goddamn idiot! I could see him rushing over fences, through yards, taking the supposed 'shortcut.' I am not taking any shortcut that involves jumping fences. Fuck that.

So I ran around the fences.

By the time I got back to my house, which was about eight minutes later, I was huffing and puffing. But not a hair was out of place and my makeup was flawless (I'd checked with my handy-dandy pocket mirror) so huffing and puffing was acceptable. I saw Edweird crouching by the side of my house, peering around the front towards where I could still hear Alice giggling. I was just about to yell out something but then I got closer.

And witnessed a miracle.

Edweird was_ staring_ at the Swan girl. And he wasn't staring at her like she was weird or like she was ugly or like she was just some bumbling idiot who managed to fascinate him with their awkwardness.

Nope. Edweird was staring at the Swan girl like he wanted to eat her.

Haha, this was going to be interesting.

"Hey, loverboy," I whispered towards the dazzled dumbass. He started and spun around, a look of surprise and trepidation on his face which was carefully wiped away. But that longing glint was still in his eyes. I grinned.

"Do you think the Swan girl is puuuurdy Edweird? Do you have a crush on Bella-wella? Do you luuurve her?" I was cracking up silently as I watched the mask stay in place. And then he blushed. I gasped and giggled again.

"You do! You do!" I crowed, "Oh, Emmett and Alice are going to have a field day with this one!" and then before I could say another word Edweird was all up in my grill. I was about to tell him to back off but then I saw his eyes.

You know how they say that the sky turns kind of greenish right before a tornado? Like, it resembles a Sprite can before you get ripped to shreds by 175 mph winds? Well yeah. Edweird's eyes reminded me of that furious storm. That waiting sky and angry green.

Because his tornado sky irises were pissed off.

"You breathe one word of this to _anyone_," he seethed, "and I'll show them the Picture. I'll do it, I swear to all cracker products in existence, I will." Oh shit, he was serious. Edweird doesn't break his promises, especially not if he's willing to swear on crackers. Edweird loves crackers.

As if to prove my point, he pulled out a few Ritz, popped them in his mouth, and then pulled out _it._

The Picture.

Its existence was the work of deviousness on his part and plain bad luck on my part.

I had been staying over at the Cullen's a few weeks after Emmett and I had started going out and we were – uh- a little busy the night before. So when I went down into the kitchen to get some coffee in order to rejuvenate, I was too tired to do any primping. In short, I was a mess.

Greasy, sweaty, stringy hair, big purple bags under my eyes. No makeup which meant uneven skin tone, chapped colorless lips, white pallid cheeks, and clumpy, pale-blond eyelashes. My eyes were crusty with exhaustion, I smelled and looked like stale-sex plus sweat, and I was wearing baggy Emmett clothes which I had found lying around somewhere. Then, just as I reached the stairs, I smelled peppermint. I hated peppermint. It made me sneeze.

A fact Edweird knew all too well.

So I stood at the top of the stairs, gross ugly clothes, hair, and face, poised for the messiest sneeze of my life. I was too lazy to even cover my nose prettily; I figured there would be no one around to care.

It was six AM, after all.

I was dead wrong.

Just as the first snot flew from my nose, just as my lids reflexively closed over my lovely blue eyes, just as my face contorted quite unflatteringly, there was a flash. I saw the red behind my lids and heard the click of the camera button.

Then I heard a chuckle. It soon turned into a very familiar guffaw. I opened my eyes, and lo and behold, Edweird was standing at the bottom of the steps, camera in hand, big ass peppermint sticks in the other, and a cat-ate-the-canary grin on his loathsome face. The captured moment in time was extraordinarily grotesque and potentially status-threatening. I looked like a bum, a mental patient, a…_Thorn._ And he knew it.

So, even though I had tried time and again to destroy it, the Picture had survived. Edweird had uploaded it and made copies, hid them in various places (and probably even countries), and maybe even put a few in the bank. The only people who knew of its (or their) existence were Edweird and I. I was aiming to keep it that way.

He told me after countless chasing, hackling, throwing heavy objects, and shrieking, that it was a piece of potential blackmail. He knew that I was obsessed with my image and the way people perceived my beauty and he decided to use that insecurity against me. So he thought ahead, and knowing that eventually a moment would arise in which I would have the upper hand, he planned out the process. He got the peppermint, picked the exact location, circumstances and time, and he got the Picture. The blackmail.

His ace in the hole.

My fucking nightmare.

He'd only once ever needed the Picture before, when he begged me not to tell anyone about his encounter with the succubus, a.k.a. Tanya, and it had worked out pretty well. I agreed with ease, figuring Tanya wouldn't be able to keep her whore mouth shut, and I was right. So I had won that round; everyone knew about their little escapade. With a lot more detail than any of us had ever _needed_ to know. Even Dr. Cullen.

But I didn't see any way to gain the upper hand in this one. Unless…

I just don't tell anyone and still antagonize him on a daily basis by myself. Which works out just fine for me. At least I get to see him squirm.

"Whatever," I hissed half-heartedly, "like I would waste my time talking about you when I have so much more important things to do." He smirked and sighed in relief.

"Like fucking your brother." He groaned and his eye twitched in disgust. I laughed.

"Shut up," he put his hands over his ears and turned back towards the street. I leaned around him and observed as the Swan girl and Alice sat in the grass, talking about something or other. I turned to look at Edweird.

His eyes were fucking starry. And glazed over. He had stars in his eyes, stars!

Mayday, mayday! We have a serious motherfucking situation here Captain!

I looked from Bella to Edweird and then back again. If things turned out the way he obviously wanted, and if I was able to help in some way, then maybe we could erase the existence of the picture.

And my reputation wouldn't be threatened.

The way I saw it, this could be a win-win situation.

Edweird's hands fell slowly to his sides as he continued to stare at the Swan girl in a stupor. I giggled at him; he actually looked pretty freakin' adorable as he mooned over her. I couldn't believe I was saying it, but things were starting to look pretty good.

Edweird was looking a little less weird, I was being presented with an opportunity to get rid of the Picture, and Isabella Swan was looking a little less… bitchtastic.

"Your secret's safe with me Edweird," he just nodded at me dazedly, like he was in a dream. And he didn't once take his eyes off Bella or go out into her line of sight.

"Where's Emmett?" he shook his head slowly.

"Football," he mumbled. I smiled. Good. Nobody to interfere then.

"Hey, Edweird, stop crouching. Stand up straight. I want to check something," he followed my instructions, too love drunk to be suspicious.

"Move over a little bit," he did as I asked and I lined him up. And then I pushed him out from behind the house with all my strength. Edweird went tumbling head over heels into the front yard, at least fifteen feet away from the original point.

Yeah, I can push hard.

"Hey! Alice! Look who wants to meet you!" I screamed it out at the top of my lungs and then disappeared into the house. I ran up the stairs, into my room, and peeked out the window at an awkward, nervous Edweird, an excited Alice, and an Isabella Swan who was very obviously attempting to look indifferent.

While all the time staring at Edweird with an expression akin to awe.

Oh yeah, Operation Overlord has begun!

* * *

Music: When I'm Small- Phantogram

Reviews: You love me, I love you, so why don't we leave some reviews? They're better than a hug or kiss, from the mister or the miss!(That's my retake on the Barney song)


	5. A Cautious Race

**"Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop" **

**-Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)**

_There was an incident, I recall, that seemed to almost…resemble… Isabella and Edward. And the way they reacted to each other._

_Actually, I think said incident may have actually included the aforementioned parties. But this happened long before they met. Long before she left her home, fleeing from the hunter, long before she became one of us._

_Because her initiation into my family didn't begin that summer, it did not begin when Edward went flying out of the bushes after Rosie pushed him. It did not begin when Isabella saw him laying there, looking up at her, and she wanted him more than she wanted to believe in an immortal soul._

_No, Isabella, or Bella more likely, didn't hop on destiny's train that day. That wasn't the beginning._

_Because the real beginning began when Bella and Edward were only a few years into their young lives. It all _really_ began with a swing, a yoyo, and a bush in which one could hide._

_Guess who was hiding in the bush?_

I could feel the sweat still dripping down my back, my face, my body. I could feel it evaporate, condense, and coat with slickness. I was a man. I could take sweat any day. I could take work, effort, physical prowess and pain. I was tough on the out, soft on the in.

But I was still a man.

I grabbed a towel as I headed to my car, wiping my face off while jumping up into the monstrous Jeep. My baby. The second love of my life.

The first love was Rosalie. Rosalie Hale to be exact. But she goes by Rose too.

And Rosie. But only I call her that. Everybody else calls her Rose.

I smiled wryly. Figures, my beautiful goddess hated that name. Rose referred to the infamous flower of beauty and love. And my beautiful girl would rather not be tied in name to that reference. She was as self conscious as they came.

And she thought that I didn't know that about her. But I do. Because I know _her._ Inside and out. And I love every piece of her fucked up persona. I loved her beautiful, exotic, achingly gorgeous exterior. And I absolutely adored the Rosie inside.

As I've told her countless times.

I felt a vibrating sensation and looked to the dashboard in search of what was surely my phone. It was bouncing around making annoying buzzing sounds, demanding my instant and undivided attention.

"I'm driving, asshole." I growled menacingly at the phone. And then I nearly peed myself when I heard another vicious growl come from the phone.

"_What did you say?"_ Oh god, I would know that voice anywhere. I frantically picked up the evil, traitorous piece of shit and checked the Caller ID. Just in case.

_Rosie _flashed across the cracked screen frantically, reminding me of the present situation at hand. Oh shit. She was going to eat my balls for this.

And not in a good way.

"Hey honey! Don't mind me! I was calling the phone an asshole because it kept buzzing, not you…and I guess it answered your call in revenge or retaliation because it is a vengeful piece of sh-"

"_Oh! Oh, so you were calling the phone an asshole because it was vibrating and buzzing to let you know that _I_ was calling? Is that it? And the fact that it answered, which you should have done the _moment_ I started calling, is the phone's form of vengeance? Its revenge, pay back, dealing out of something not good to you is answering your calling_ girlfriend_? I am _not_ a piece of fucking vengeance Emmet Aiden Cullen! You should be fucking euphoric because I called you, you asswipe! You should fucking _thank _your phone!"_ Rosie's screeching voice reverberated throughout the Jeep. She wasn't on speakerphone, but I could still hear her from where I was, a foot away, bashing my head repeatedly into the wheel as I navigated the small, desolated streets of Forks.

Fuck. My. Life.

I sighed quietly so she wouldn't hear, and then I put the phone tentatively to my ear. I waited for her huffing breaths to calm down a bit.

Time to grab the bull by her blonde horns.

"Rosie?" I said it softly, lovingly, trying to butter her up, "Baby, I'm sorry. But you know how bad I am at multi-tasking; I'm not smart like you are. And I didn't want to talk on the phone while driving; it makes it hard for me to concentrate. What if I hit someone? What if I killed someone? And I didn't see that it was you calling; if I had, I would have pulled over and picked up the phone." I heard her snuffing on the other side of the phone, reluctantly accepting my apology.

My Rosie wasn't able to stay mad at me.

"Fine," she sighed, "It's okay. As long as you weren't calling me an asshole. Cuz then I'd have to rip you a new one." I chuckled at the threat. Only my baby would be able to beat my gargantuan ass if she wanted to.

"Woman, you know how hot and bothered I get when you threaten bodily harm!" I joked and she giggled. I grinned like an idiot at my favorite sound in the world. Well, my second favorite sound. The first being her moaning my name.

Fuck. Boner alert.

I cleared my throat, thinking of Tanya Denali. Then I shuddered.

The boner shriveled up and died screaming at the memory of her hyena voice.

"So what's up, babe? Any news?" I heard her shuffle around a bit, probably sitting herself down somewhere.

"Yeah, _big_ news." I grinned.

"Bigger than me?" She laughed outright at that. I grinned again.

"Almost. Which is pretty big," that's my girl, "Remember how Esme was chatting up your Daddy and said something about her niece, Isabella Swan? Yeah, well she's here." Isabella was here? I bet Edward's pissing himself at the moment; all he talked about nowadays was Miss Swan.

Boy had some serious issues.

"What? Does my waste of space brother know this? Did he run in her direction like a dog after a tennis ball? And then did her drool at her as he watched from afar?" I snorted.

"Naw, he was cool about it. Just strolled over to say hello. But he was a bit shy, didn't have enough courage to pop out and meet her. You know how he is with chicks. Awkward to the extreme." Her voice sounded a bit cautious, a bit crafty. But I ignored it, too hung up on the details.

"So Eddie didn't freak? Well, that's a first." I grinned into the phone, waiting for her answering laugh.

She chuckled then, "Yeah, he didn't freak. But he was being a bit _too_ cool about it. So I decided that enough was enough and pushed him out into the yard while he wasn't looking. He's outside my window at the moment, being introduced. And _Bella, _as she prefers to be called," Rosie's voice wrapped around the name like a cloak of derision, "is out there with about the same amount of awkward as Edweird. _And_ she's looking at him like she wants him to go all caveman on her and drag her to his lair. It's disturbing, really." I smiled.

Girls were always falling head over heels for Eddie boy. I wasn't surprised. Not in the least. I looked out the window to see that I was passing up the Newton's store so it would only take a few more minutes to get to my blonde bombshell's house. I was looking forward to not only seeing_ her_, but seeing the event taking place outside her house.

This was going to be tons of fun.

"Babe, I'll be over in a few, k? Just need to change out of my gross workout clothes, take a quick shower, and then I'll be over to observe this spectacle you speak of. And maybe to observe a bit of you," I let my voice go playful, the deep undertones suggesting a something a bit more than some playfulness. Rosie giggled again, and then pulled out that seductress voice, all sultry and sweet.

And very capable of turning certain parts of my anatomy into the equivalent of stone.

I'm talking about my dick, by the way.

"Sounds like a plan, babes. And if you're a good boy, maybe I'll let you do a little more than observe. Hurry up Em, unless you want me to punish you" she hummed deliciously and I groaned, "See you then sweetcheeks." She hung up the phone and I pounded on the gas pedal.

No point in wasting time.

-~C~-

I pulled into Rosie's driveway, fully showered and dressed. I saw a streak of blonde barreling my way as I opened the door and then the streak ran into me. Rosie gave me a hug and snuggled into my body. I wrapped my arms around her small figure (well small compared to me) and kissed her waiting lips sweetly. She hummed.

"I missed you baby," She smiled at me.

"I missed you too, Em, but I want you to turn to your right and pay attention to the scene in front of you at the moment," I spun around eagerly, wanting to see the Swan girl.

And I came face to face with an incident.

Edward looked livid as he stared at Alice, Alice looked gleeful as she stared back at Edward, and Bella looked absolutely _disgusted._ Uh-oh.

"Alice! You can't just go around saying shit like that!" Alice giggled at Edward's anger.

"Yes, actually, I can. I'm your sister and therefore I am fully privileged in telling anyone who will listen about your past major mistakes." She giggled again and Eddie growled. Then Bella jumped in.

"Hold on a second!" her voice sounded confused, "So you hooked up with _Tanya_? Over the summer in Alaska? Not Tanya in the woods Tanya, right?" Now we were all confused. I looked down at Rosie to see sudden comprehension dawn on her beautiful face. Well maybe she could clue me in.

But before I could ask her what the fuck was happening, she doubled over in laughter. She was laughing full out belly laughs and I smiled at her. She was just so damn cute. But I still didn't get it.

Rosie's hysterics soon fell down in pitch to a few light chuckles. She lifted her head, a brilliant smile on her face, as she observed the three confused individuals on the lawn. And the one confused individual holding her hand.

"No, Bella. Edward didn't hook up with ten year old Tanya who is a sweetheart and lives in a shack in the woods. Do you think he would be anywhere near us if he did that? Although fucking Tanya from Alaska is almost as bad; it should be illegal, actually." She grinned again and I finally got it.

Bella thought that he hooked up with the sweetheart Tanya. Not the hyena Tanya.

I started laughing with Rosie, Edward, and Alice this time as Bella's face just collapsed in relief. And then fired up like a tomato.

She blushed a fiery red, Rosie laughed, I chuckled, Alice giggled, and Edward gaped and gawked. Then we all managed to compose ourselves.

"I've actually started calling the nice Tanya Anya now, don't want her to be mixed up with the super bitch." Rosie grinned, and I couldn't help but snicker at that.

Bella looked at me and blushed again. Then she advanced cautiously, her hand raised for a shake. I waited for Rosie to pull her "he's my man, back off" routine, which she pulled with every new chick to approach me. It was endearing and adorable, but this time she just smiled timidly at Bella. It wasn't a nice smile, but it wasn't a serial killer smile, for which I was grateful. Bella seemed like a sweet girl.

She stopped in front of me, still blushing red.

"Hi, I'm Bella. And you're Alice's brother Emmett, right?" I ignored the hand and grabbed her small frame, spinning her around in one of my grizzly bear hugs. Then I put a breathless Bella down as she tried to get a little more oxygen into her sore ribs.

And _that's _an Emmett worthy greeting for you.

I looked up to wink at my brother and found to my absolute delight that he was pissed off. He was staring at me like he wanted to claw my eyes out with blunt and rusty nails. I winked again. He glared.

Possessive much?

"Hey you bloody wanker! Get your ass over here!" Edward shook his head vehemently as I ran at him in full bear mode. I knocked him over and got him under my arm before giving him a little pat on the head and growling. I got up and watched with merriment as he brushed himself off, trying to maintain some dignity.

"That's what you get for not answering the phone when I call smartarse. And for being rude to Rosie." Edward rolled his eyes. I know that he wouldn't do anything if Rosie didn't deserve it, but still. She was my goddess. She could do whatever she wanted to, in my opinion.

"I don't even try anymore," he sighed, "You're worse than a fucking mountain lion, Em. You just get bigger every day." I proudly beat my chest like an ape as Rosie giggled.

"That's grizzly to you, dear brother." He shook his head, smiling. I was just too cute and fluffy to _not_ smile at.

"I personally do not find you very fluffy," choked Bella. Her face was all red and her voice was all stifled behind her hand as she covered up her laughter.

Oh crap, didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Well he's got the cute part down pat." Rosie smiled at me. I couldn't help but smile back at her goddamn beautiful self. What in all of hell did I do to deserve her? Really, like I'm not complaining, but it still baffles me.

"Well I think I need to get going, Esme's probably looking for me." Bella grimaced, she obviously wanted to stay. And Edward looked like someone had taken the last Cheez-It box at Newton's general. That boy loved crackers with a passion.

"Hey Bella, you can probably just come over to our house. Chances are that Esmam is over there humping my dad's leg anyways," Alice squealed and grabbed Bella's arm, talking at warp speed about how much fun they were going to have. I think I heard her say something about shooting some white tees with paintball guns in the backyard…

"Paint splatter equals pure genius!" Yeah. Paintball splatter. I turned to see Bella giving Edward a "are you fucking kidding me?" look as Alice went on and on and on. He shrugged at her in a "nope, this is normal behavior" nonchalant kind of way. Which he managed to pull off somehow.

What can I say? He had a way with the ladies.

"Bella, why don't you and Eddie go and take my car? I wanna take a walk with Rosie." I smiled down at my golden goddess and she gave a dazzling grin in return. I took her hand in mine we started to walk down the street. I heard Bella giggling and Edward opening the car door, with something like "Your stallion my fine lady…" floating out of his pansy mouth.

"Edweird seems to have found some companionship, eh?" Rosie smirked up at me. I nodded dumbly, focused on those red lips of hers.

"I'd love for him to hook up with _Bella_," her usually lovely voice was a snarl.

"What? You don't like her?" I was confused. She looked like she'd honestly love for Eddie-poo to hook up with Bella. But she didn't look like she liked Bella all that much. My Rosie was confusing, but that's part of the reason I loved her.

She just smiled at me serenely.

A few minutes later we were at the house, and I heard laughter in the backyard. Or, more appropriately, screeching. Alice.

We came around the house in time to see Edward and Alice running full sprint from one end of the yard to the other and back, seemingly endless. And then they were just running all around with no sense of direction or purpose. Just running.

Bella sat on the swings, watching them with an amused smile on her face. I jumped up and tackled Edward when he got close enough, causing Rose and Bella to giggle while Edward was pinned beneath me.

"Get off me you monstrosity," he huffed. I playfully rolled around, my arm around his head.

"Say please!" Edward said something that sounded like "neber!" before I had pity and let him go. Bella was still laughing as her big brown eyes met my own.

I was suddenly hit with a memory.

"_Edward!" the little girl's voice screeched in delight as my brother pushed her swing higher._

_His eyes were bright, his cheeks flushed._

"_Isa-belllll-a!" she giggled again. And I watched, gathering teasing material from the bushes._

"_Busy little Izzy and Eddie sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" I yelled in triumph, springing from the bushes and laughing at their angry little faces. I ran fast into the house, locking myself in my room as Eddie's voice drifted through the door._

"_You take that back right now!"_

I shook my head, coming out of the memory. And I took a look at the girl before me. Why hadn't I recognized her before?

And why did I feel like it was a huge mistake that I had finally remembered?

**Songs: Oedipus by Regina Spektor **

**Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine**

**Reviews: my pet Ego is hungry. Feed him. **


	6. I Hate to Do This, But

Okay, I hate to do this to you guys, BUT.

I have a blog. And I want to share it. And I posted a teaser for the next chapter on there.

Incentive?

Anyway, eventually you shall find: Bella and Edward extras, quotes, funny pictures, a fuckawesome banner by Readergoof, and teasers. We all love teasers.

Anyway, the link is on my profile and, once again, I HAVE A TEASER FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER ALL UP ON THERE.

Oh, and I will alert you guys to when I'm updating, you know, if you go on the blog and all…

See ya soon suckers!


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